Monday 21 November 2016

Where there's muck there's money

"Thrifty" would be a good word to describe our family.  My Grandpa Brinson used to say that if you had sixpence and only spent five you'd never get into trouble (although Charles Dickens might have said that first).  His wise words have obviously stayed with us - of his ten grandchildren, none of us has ever gone bankrupt.  While this precludes any of us from ever becoming President of the USA it has kept us out of debtors' prison, and Grandpa would be proud of that.

Of course, a large part of my own financial success is thanks to thrift stores.  Why pay full price for something when you can get it for a fraction of that, with the added bonus of the previous owner's fingerprints/hair/smell still attached?  My sister has taken this a step further and volunteers in a UK charity shop, where she not only sorts the incoming merchandise but decides on it's price and gets first chance to buy it!  "Corrupt" might also be a good family adjective.

So with her visit I had to give Em a tour of the local thrift stores, or "pre-enjoyed economy" as I call it.  Unfortunately, US secondhand vendibles are extremely low quality when compared with British, charities being a dumping ground for anything broken or worn out that you can't sell for 50 cents at a garage sale.  On the other hand, there are none of those pesky health and safety laws.  Here you can buy anything!  Electricals, furniture, cars, guns...you name it.

So here's your guide to the thrift stores of southern Maryland.  I know you've been waiting.

Unique Thrift Store, Silver Spring

Location: On a nice main road, big car park, near a Burger King.

Product:  Varied, questionable.

Atmosphere/odour: Reminiscent of a large, non-luxurious rest home.


It's unique!  Like all the others.

Find of the day:


When is it pizza time?  It's always pizza time!

Goodwill, Rockville

Location: Small suburban shopping mall.  No good coffee nearby.

Product:  Well curated and ordered.  Discrete enclosed kids area where Pete has spent many happy hours.

Atmosphere/odour: Classy.  For a thrift store.


There's a sign on the door saying employees are not allowed to purchase the goods, which outraged Em.

Find of the day:


Three kings, two heads.  A Nativity/Halloween mash-up.

Honourable mention:


A personalised thrift store item?  That never happens!  And she didn't buy it.

Urban Thrift, Kensington

Location: On a side street in a difficult-to-navigate one-way system.  Custom suffers as a result!

Product:  Not choosy, but not too many broken things.  They once had a grand piano on a 50%-off-all-furniture-day, but my marriage was worth more than the savings.

Atmosphere/odour: Not very urban.


It was 25% off for seniors.  Where are Mum and Dad when you need them?

Find of the day:


Remember that comforting time when George W. Bush was the worst president ever?

Honourable mention:


Looking good, Jesus.


Guess where I'll be lining up at 5am on Friday!

Salvation Army, Takoma Park

Location: Upstairs in a mall, by an IHOP.

Product:  A very fine choice of well-looked-after goods.

Atmosphere/odour: Could almost be a real shop.  Nice religious theme - Christmas carols were being piped throughout.


Ah, the Sally Army.

Find of the day:


Only the addition of John Denver can improve on the Muppets/Christmas formula.


Good sense of Biblical humour.

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Break for lunch:



Never thrift on an empty stomach.

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Value Village, Silver Spring

Location: Just off the Beltway, quite near Ikea.

Product:  Ugh.  Quantity rather than quality is the order of the day here.  It seems to be two thrift stores combined into one, hangar-sized chaotic charity warehouse.

Atmosphere/odour: I'm still trying to scrub it from my pores.


Find of the day:


Whoever strips the dolls naked and bags them up like some deranged psycho killer!

In conclusion:

That's all my Christmas presents bought in a single day!  Thanks again Grandpa.